Worship has many faces; joy, happiness, singing, laughing - and also, crying, sorrow, sadness. On August 23rd I got a call at 2:30 Am that my Mom had unexpectedly passed away. Nothing prepares you for times like this and to be sure, it has been quite a roller coaster few weeks. Thoughts and emotions tend to take over and life suddenly becomes a simple matter of survival. Things that seemed so important yesterday, suddenly seem so unimportant. Life tends to get very simple; family, sleep, food. Phone calls and emails go unreturned, relationships become vitally important, tears begin to flow at the oddest of times and yet...through it all, He is there.I know it sounds cliche, but it is true - in our darkest moments, He is there. I confess that I haven't been running to my Bible, or spending inordinate amounts of time in prayer, or singing worship songs at the top of my lungs; and yet, despite all that, in some respects I am closer to God now then I was before. He has been there constantly whispering, holding, carrying, reminding me that it's ok to grieve, it's ok to cry.
I wrote a couple of blogs ago that one of the most comforting passages in all the Bible is also the shortest verse in the Bible; "Jesus wept." Little did I know when I wrote that post how soon my own life would be turned upside down. Still, those words bring comfort to me today. Why? Because they remind me that even Jesus, the Son of God, "Emmanuel," hurt. Even He cried, even He had sorrow and even, yes even Jesus understands loss. This comforts me.
And so, this Sunday I will resume my role as worship leader. Because I feel great? No. Because God has been so good to me? He has, but I won't sing because of that. Because I'm paid to do this? :-) Nope! This Sunday, I return to lead our congregation in worship because He is worthy to be worshipped. Regardless of the circumstances of life, regardless of my ups or downs, regardless of how I feel or what I want, I will worship God and sing to Him because of His worthiness.
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